ashes

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Print2A year ago, almost to the day, we lost G.T. and gained Ashlie. Now, we have lost Ashlie and gained nothing. Everyone says that no parent should ever have to outlive their child. What is difficult to explain, I am learning, is how it feels to lose the same child twice. What I do know though, without a doubt, is that I wouldn’t trade this last year (with all its faults and fears,¬†and awkward phases) for anything. She was a wonder to behold.

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12 Responses to ashes

  1. GeekMan says:

    Oh my god. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even put into words how devastated I am to learn about Ashlie. The entire Geek family sends their love your way. I don’t know what else to say except that you and your family are in our thoughts.

  2. Miss Bliss says:

    You created a beautiful child that you loved with a fierce heart. Now you send her on her way with a spirit grateful to have had her. I am heartbroken for you all and am sending you all the light and love in the world to soften the edges of such deep sadness and loss.

  3. dan says:

    I will live the rest of my life inspired by, and aspiring to, the example of acceptance and support you have demonstrated to me. I was just looking at a photo of GT and me at a Giant’s game. I was mugging “sad.” Now I’m not mugging. I wish I could stop by with soup but if there is anything I CAN do, please please let me know. In the meantime, you are all in my heart and my thoughts.

  4. Patricia says:

    My heart aches for you and I am sorry I never got to meet your daughter. You and your family are in my heart and thoughts. I love you. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

  5. mia says:

    On so many levels, in so many ways, I am terribly, terribly sorry. I didn’t even know this blog was here, but the lovely circle of friends that you/we have built let me know that you were in crisis over the weekend. My eyes haven’t stopped misting over since then. Even without the backfill of the daily life and the various bric-a-brac of blogging and the wonderment of raising children and the changelings that they become, I still feel every bit as attached to you and yours as ever. It is very little consolation, I know, but I hope that you can take it into your hearts (and heads) that you’re not alone in this. That you have a fantastic community of supporters who are right here in your own backyard (backblog?) who are sending all of their love to each and every one of you. I have always held you dear in my thoughts and won’t ever stop. I hope that in some, small (very small) way, it can help your spirit stay afloat. No one expects you to be soaring right now, but none of us will let you sink. xoxo

  6. Staz says:

    I can’t even imagine what you are going through, but I am certain that you have my thoughts, prayers and the biggest hugs imaginable. Ashlie was beautiful and most certainly a reflection of all the love you have for her.

  7. Kivrin says:

    Oh sweetie. I am heart-achingly sad for you all. Ash was such a charming child, so spirited and so fierce. I hold you all tightly in my heart, wishing you peace, sending love.

  8. sue says:

    Words can’t say enough. I’m so sorry for the loss of this wonderful person from your life. I’m sure the pain is unbearable right now. I can only imagine. The love you felt comes right through the pages – and always has. I’m sure she knew how much you loved her. Wishing you and your family peace.

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