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Good Read: Queer and Pleasant Danger


Kate BornsteinAny book that is framed as a love letter to an estranged child is going to be bursting with love, but Kate Bornstein’s “Queer and Pleasant Danger” is also raw, funny and wrenching, a memoir befitting the grand cultural icon she has become.

The book’s subtitle “The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today” gives you the lay of the land but the journey is nonetheless revolutionary. In the guise of the clown, Kate dances into dark territory, making the pain manageable, almost celebratory. She is unapologetic, in your face, and at the same time utterly disarming.

I wish, of course, that I could run down the hall and press this book into Ashlie-Alice’s hands. I wish that I had known enough to cloak her in that kind of armor the moment she burst into the world as my daughter. I imagine she might have reached out to connect with the grande dame of the gender revolution. And I suspect that she’d have received the same generosity of spirit with which Kate addressed Chelsea Manning in an open letter she published last year …“In closing, baby girl, remember that you have brothers and sisters and aunties and uncles all around the world who are so proud of you. Thousands of us, in fact. Think of us, and breathe.”

Big love to the cute and quirky Gender Outlaw.

Visit the blog.

Get the book.



As it turns out, I’m not so good at keeping things alive. Birds, hamsters, kittens and that garter snake I left in the sun; every one of my childhood pets met a tragic end. My backyard is filled with the bones of long-dead dogs and one beloved cat. The pots on the back porch boast the skeletal remains of various herbs and vegetables I planted with great expectation. I’m still surprised that my children survived early childhood – not an accidental electrocution or drowning in the bunch. Still, I felt a sense of apprehension when the 167 year-old sourdough starter arrived with carefully printed instructions for its revival and maintenance.

CarlThe enclosed pamphlet details the starter’s impressive heritage and celebrates its champion Carl Griffith, whose sourdough culture has been passed on nearly 40,000 times. In his honor, I print CARL with a permanent marker on the side of the tub I’m intending to revive the starter in.
I’m skeptical as hell. It’s just a few flakes, off-white in color and crumbling to the touch. I mix it with flour, water and sugar, then leave it out on the counter overnight. Every day for the next two weeks, I feed it. First, just white flour and water. Then some rye flour, a little apple cider vinegar and a pinch or two of potato flakes. And the thing is, the crazy thing is, it is alive.
I make J and Mouse look it. I call my mother and tell her to come over. I’m so fucking proud of this smelly little science experiment that everyone who graces our doorstep for the first month has to peek into the Carl’s little plastic tub and get a whiff of what he’s got going on. I, who am lousy at keeping things alive has an ancient sourdough culture bubbling and growing on the counter in my kitchen and there is somehow something hopeful in that.

[For the price of a self-addressed stamped-envelope. you can get your own bit of Carl Griffith's 1847 Oregon Trail Sourdough Starter through the "Friends of Carl".]

just so you know


If you’ve arrived here in search of more stories about Alice, the quickest link is THIS ONE .


Flash Forward


Ashlie's birthday is coming up on June 2nd. She would have been 20. We're tentatively scheduled to head over to Monterey to check in on the Glorious God-Daughters next weekend and then spend Sunday morning in Santa Cruz for the Pride Parade and Festival which Ash loved and celebrated like her personal Debutante Ball. I usually try to take a few days around her birthday to cocoon if need be, and to that end, I've prepared some things in advance:

My friend The Man Dan, who curates The Chucklehut has kindly agreed to hop on over next week to share one of his kick-ass narrative recipes which will have you (as it did me) scouring the fridge and grocery shelves for ripe veggies and Go Chu Jang sauce.

Mombian is hosting their 7th Annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day on June 1st, and I've whipped up something for that.

Also, my sister Bullish and beloved Miss Bliss and I are working on a group project which I'm really excited about. Our launch will be mid-June and the site will be primarily a playground for writers and words. I'll have more on that later, so keep an eye out.