Tag Archives: ash

Flying Lessons


When Arthur Cave (son of Nick Cave and Susie Bick) fell from a cliff in East Sussex and died, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop feeling about it. Clearly this was none of my business. It felt ghoulish … Continue reading

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Grief – Six Years Out


For six years now, the arrival February fills me with dread as the anniversary Ashlie’s death approaches. Each season I’ve tried a different method of coping, none of them particularly effective, but still, I keep trying. This year, J. and … Continue reading

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Even A Dead Child


I'm walking alone in an unfamiliar neighborhood, pulling a child's bicycle along beside me. I find Ash along the way, playing with some little girls. I turn over the bike, like I came specifically to deliver it, but Ash shoves … Continue reading

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Santa Cruz Pride Festival 2013


Mouse and I returned to Santa Cruz yesterday with our friend (and Ashlie’s step-mother) Mary for the Santa Cruz PRIDE parade and festival. It’s an event I’ve enjoyed for nearly a decade, though 2008 was hands-down my favorite year. “In … Continue reading

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Honest Holidays


The holidays really fuck with me. This is true for bereaved parents in general. It’s not just that first year without your child that’s ruined, but every year thereafter. I used to love a fresh-cut Christmas tree. The bigger the … Continue reading

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