This is my favorite photo

of Jordan and J. (2001)

Everything you need to know

about their relationship

in those years, is here. 



The song is stuck in my head this morning.

The photo still makes me smile.

The 3+ years she's been gone are mostly a blur.

I keep waiting to come out the other side of the grief

but the truth is – there is no other side.



This morning I stumbled across a video that Mouse put together a couple of years ago, soundtracked by Antony & The Johnsons' "Divine". I thought I'd share it here



I spent the day writing, knocked out the better part of a rough-drafted chapter. It is an exhausting process and one that begs for frequent distraction. One of those distractions in mid-afternoon was a sudden overwhelming desire to find a photo from the time-period I was writing about. This is how I ended up gut-deep in a folder of photos I rarely peruse. There are nearly a hundred of Ash's self-portraits in the folder, mostly raw images which have never been cropped, touched up or properly lighted. They are occasionally funny and often awkward. Of course they make me sad but many of them also make me uncomfortable.

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