Laurustina

Last week, I was scouring the library for resource books on Memoir. I didn't come up with much beyond the handful I'd already dug through, but later the same night, while re-shelving my own books in our new office, I tripped over Tristine Rainer's “Your Life as Story; Discovering the New Autobiography and Writing Memoir as Literature”.

It's one of the books I bought while researching my thesis on Therapeutic Writing a decade ago and the spine is familiar as any other on my shelf, but I haven't cracked it since September of 2002. I picked up the book, flipped through it and laughed. If I'd found it in the library, I'd have declared it “Exactly what I was looking for!” and clutched it to my chest while running for the check-out line. Instead, it was waiting casually to be remembered and rescued from deep shelves five feet from where I sleep.

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I'm tempted to give this gem of a book five stars because it was literally the ONLY book of its kind that could be found when I needed it. Parenting a transgender teenager is, in so many ways, an isolating task and in those first few weeks, I clutched this slim yellow volume, feeling like Evelyn was my only friend. 

It was the third week after Ashlie's revelation when I accompanied her to the only transgender support group in our county. There, the woman who was facilitating the group pressed Evelyn's little book into my hands. I read the whole thing that same night.

And again, the next night. Something about her story made me feel like "YES WE CAN!" while everything else in my life was screaming "HOWTHEHELLAREWEGOINGTODOTHIS?!" I write as much as I do and as publicly as I do about our experiences for this precise reason, to add my voice to the emerging and loosely-connected community of families navigating the dangerous and often lonely waters of raising gender non-conforming offspring.

What the book perhaps lacks in depth, it makes up for in warmth, love and cheerleading. While Evelyn managed everything better than I was at that moment and her daughter was more even-keel and cooperative than mine was, I didn't begrudge her the smoother sailing, but rather held out hope that we'd get there soon enough. 

Just Evelyn remains one of my quiet heroines, the first trans-parent friend I had, even if the friendship was an imaginary one and "Mom I Need To Be A Girl" is a little yellow ray of sunshine in permanent residence on my shelf.

Everett Maroon is a nice, geeky and sometimes-clumsy guy with body issues. Ok, so maybe those issues are more complex than most, but for the readers of “Bumbling Into Body Hair” that works in our favor. Maroon's memoir traces his occasionally fumbling expedition through the landscape of gender awareness and transition with wit, insight and the deft touch of a talented writer.

It is not a transgender story so much as a human story, one about embracing change, forging ahead when we're terrified, finding self-respect along the way and surrounding ourselves with people who give us the space and support to be who we are.

Having read a handful of transition-related memoirs, “Bumbling …” stands out as the most charming and accessible of the lot. To infuse such a weighty subject with this kind of poignancy and humor is a delicate task, which he manages to make seem effortless. (Battling a roll of plastic wrap, not so much.)

Maroon touches on the variety of isms he encounters as perceptions around him change but he does not labor over it. He puts his activism into practice rather than preaching it. Whether it's learning the secrets of the corporate men's room, chatting up strangers in public places like a real-life PSA or navigating the mad maze of the healthcare system, he does so with humanity and aplomb.

Not only would I recommend this book for people in the trans community, but I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a great story with a clear and unique voice, a hero you can't help but fall a little bit in love with and a heroine who clearly deserves the adoration of the masses. 

The journey of becoming who we've always been is invariably touched with sadness and yet, it is one of hope. In defining ourselves rather than letting other people define us, we come closer to the secret to joy and there is no question that Everett Maroon has achieved that. Joining him on this voyage through the laughter and tears is a rare treat. 

(You canpick up a copy of "Bumbling Into Body Hair" at Amazon.com and also check out Everett at Trans/plant/portation or follow him on Twitter @EverettMaroon)

I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy of “Tessa Masterson Goes to Prom” because, well … I'm cool like that. Stop laughing. That shtick got me this far, sweetheart. The point is, I got to read it before you did and therefore, get to tell you how kick-ass it is.

A simple plot summary might suggest that “Tessa…” is merely a ripped-from-the-headlines retelling of the events surrounding Constance McMillan's 2010 Mississippi prom controversy. However, in the deft hands of Brendan Halpin and Emily Franklin, Tessa's characters come alive and the story becomes something unique, specific and utterly delightful.

Set against the backdrop of conservative small town which is slowly disintegrating, Tessa and her best friend Lucas struggle with questions of honesty and love. The poignant relationship between the pair, best friends since early childhood, was for me, a reminder of that bittersweet moment in time when romantic interests first overthrow the deep bonds of friendship in their emotional importance.

The big messages here are those of acceptance and loyalty. It's not hit-you-over-the-head stuff, but clearly woven through the unfolding events in a manner that should be accessible for both the intended Young Adult audience and the adult readers who love them. As a cultural commentary, I can only hope that this lovely little book will feel dated within the next decade, and be read then as a peek into what it was like BEFORE.

Halpin shines here (as always) with his ability to create teenage characters who walk, talk, think and behave like teenagers. It is one of the things which drew me to his work initially and one of the things which keeps me coming back.

“Tessa Masterson Will Go To Prom” has taken up residence on my bookshelf, and not the casually overstuffed bookshelf in the bedroom, but the Here-To-Stay shelf in the living room. In this house, that's saying something. Mostly, it says, “These are the books we DON'T want the dog to pee on.” but in the story of our lives, that's kinda important.